Robots...rusted over

Robots - Chris Wedge - 2005 - 3/10

Summary:

A young robot voiced by Ewan McGregor goes to the big city to get a job working for his hero, Bigweld (Mel Brooks). But when he gets to Bigweld's factory he finds out that Bigweld has retired and the company is now in the hands of a robot only interested in making money. The rest of the cast is largely insignificant because their voice casting is somewhat questionable and they really have little impact on the story. Most of the movie is taken up by weird antics in which Ewan McGregor's Robot gets beaten up, tossed around the city, and have all of his attempts to get to Bigweld thwarted. Although there really arent many of these instances, and the movie seems to be all fluff.



Critique:

Again, I guess I began my critique above by talking about how ridiculous the movie was. Like I mentioned in the summary above, NOTHING really happens. I do not understand why people like this movie so much. Even for a kids movie this movie is nearly unbearable. Voices seem out of place, the story seems contrived at best...Are we really to believe that Bigweld just "quit" on a whim - this major plot point just elucidates the emptiness of nearly every device the movie employs. Then you chalk up the thinly veiled theft of famous scenes from classic movies that little kids havent even seen (like "Singing in the Rain") which sometimes work, but fall flat here. Characters are half developed and almost every action and line sparks "why why why" in my head. And to that I say no no no.

Verdict:

Try to avoid this one

If you liked this movie, watch...
...Meet the Robinsons
...Toy Story 2
...Antz

Serenity...completely serene

Serenity - Joss Whedon - 2005 - 9/10

Summary:

Captain Mal's (Nathan Fillion) "boat" the Serenity, piloted by Wash (Alan Tudyk) with Wash's wife Zoe (Gina Torres) as first mate, Kaylee (Jewel Staite) as the ship's mechanic, Adam Balwin as Jane - the ship's muscle, and Simon (Sean Maher) the ship's doctor. Things start to get crazy when the Parliament begins more actively pursuing the last member of the ship - Simon's sister River (Summer Glau), a girl with exceptional psychic and physical abilities. As the rag tag crew get chased by Parliament military units and Reavers (blood thirsty pirates), they try to piece together exactly why the Parliament is so actively pursuing River. The intent of the Parliament becomes crystal clear whent he ship discovers "The Operative" (Chiwetel Ejiofor), an almost superhuman Parliament assassin. Will the crew give up River to save their own skin? Why does the Parliament want River? Will Mal conquer his confused feelings toward his one true love, Inara (Morena Bacarin), in time to win her back?

Critique:



This movie was soo much fun to watch because it had EVERYTHING. There were cool characters, lots of action, realistic drama, an interesting futuristic world, and the list could go on. The movie works on so many levels - most of all realism because they fight with guns that fire bullets, real swords, and actual cannons like we use now, there isnt any lasers to comprehend, and the ships look like they could be made. And the story is simple enough that the movie can take time to cram in awesome action scenes with (limited) character development. And two actors really knocked my socks off. The first was Chiwetel Ejiofor who was right on as the sage like villain, elusively called "The Operative." I know I'm sticking my neck out here, but I think Ejiofor could challenge Agent Smith any day. The second was Summer Glau, who made me check imdb to make sure it wasnt Rose McGowan (I guess Charmed was one of the few TV shows Joss Whedon has never directed). But seriously, Summer was amazing, pulling off the bad ass female superfighter before McGowan picked it up in "Grindhouse," Summer is also convincing as the seer tormented by her visions and prophecies. The only problem with the movie is that Whedon counts a little too much on people having seen "Firefly." At least I thought so. The characters - whom I can tell are pretty sweet - are not ever really fleshed out. When ship members die its not that big of a deal because you dont really know them. And more importantly, you don't know the intricacies of the relationship of the ship members to understand what losing one of their own would do to them. But that isnt enough to hurt the movie, and really only makes me want to go out and watch "Firefly."

Verdict:

Buy it

If you liked this movie, watch...
...Titan, A.E.
...Equilibrium
...The Fifth Element

Take 10: The Most Genius Villains, part A

In our first "Take 10" series, I will take a look at the Most Genius villains of all time. Villains who were not just evil, but truly genius - villains you had to respect for being begurdingly intelligent. In this first part, I'll discuss the ten villains who almost made the forthcoming, TOP TEN MOST GENIUS VILLAINS article. Here they are:

Marsellus Wallace (Pulp Fiction)
Does Marsellus Wallace look like a bitch? Well…he does kinda get raped by a thin white boy. But at the same time, he’s a pretty smart dude – he tosses people out of buildings and people think it was over a foot massage. And goddamn, that gold case – he’s gotta be a genius if he knew hot to get a hold of that.

Frank (The Departed)
Granted Frank gets a leg up because he’s played by Jack Nicholson, but he also knows how to play the Boston PD pretty well. And he carefully manages the talent in his hood so he can place them in as moles. His only mistake was having his hand in too many different people’s cookie jars.

Bill (Kill Bill, v2)
The guy has two movies where he’s the title character! And he knows Kung Fu. And he can play that little instrument that draws The Bride to him on the veranda. He’s got a bunch of pretty hard nosed killers that he plays like puppets – he knows exactly what he needs to say to his brother and Elle in order to fuel their anger against The Bride. And when the going gets tough, and he’s got to cross swords with the women he loves, he knows what he has to do.

Kelly (The Girl Next Door)
Our first character not from an action movie also benefits from a bad-ass actor (Olyphant). Kelly is a pretty clever dude too – he knows he wants revenge and he knows how to take it. And when he senses that his great idea is about to get stolen out from under him, Kelly strikes first and takes what he thinks is his. He just should have made sure before he embarrasses himself.

Scar (The Lion King)
The guy is a Lion, to start with, and then he’s got the voice of Jeremy Irons. And this Lion is the perfect conniving political climber – he knows that Mufasa will do anything to protect Simba, and he puppets Simba perfectly to get him to do what he wants. And he even controls the hyenas perfectly, giving them just the incentive they need every once in awhile to do his bidding.



Sergeant Bob Barnes (Platoon)
Barnes is a pretty evil dude – a man corrupted by war who thinks the ends justifies the means. Barnes is a clever soldier – carefully plotting tactics and measures to defeat the enemy and protect his men. And when the heat is about to come at him, Barnes knows exactly what he has to do.

Captain Dudly Liam Smith (LA Confidential)
Most of the movie goes down without you truly knowing who is pulling the strings behind the Night Owl cover-up. Captain Smith pushes and prods ever gently – getting Russell Crowe to do his dirty work and playing Guy Pierce off the rest of the agency to prevent the heat from ever coming down on him. And just when Guy Pierce is coming down on him, Smith drops the ace in his sleeve to bust up the good guys.

Elijah Price (Unbreakable)
Samuel L. Jackson is an erratic man searching for a superhero. The perfection of Samuel L. Jackson’s Elijah is that he manipulates Bruce Willis the whole movie – constantly pushing him to become the man Elijah wants him to be. Finally at the end we see Elijah’s true genius – his nefarious “experiments” that brought mass destruction to fruition.

Angel Eyes (The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly)
Lee Van Cleef OWNS this movie. Well, the Man with No Name does too, but Van Cleef is right on as the worst of the three bad guys here – trying at all costs to kill Clint. And he tries with such flare and brilliancy.

Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg (Gary Oldman)
This one was kind of tough because you could also say Zorg is the dumbest villain too, because he makes a deal with an entity of pure evil that will consume the whole world (and likely kill Zorg too). Despite that, Zorg plays the pig-grunt guys to perfection and his line, “a true killer would have asked about the red button” is pure genius.

REVIEW: House M.D., Season 2

House M.D. - Fox - 2005 - 9/10

Summary:

Hugh Laurie reprises his role as genius diagnostician and constant cynic Dr. House and the the rest of the team, Dr. Eric Foreman (Omar Epps), Dr. Allison Cameron (Jennifer Morrison), Dr. Robert Chase (Robert Sean Leonard), are back. This season continues the Stacy storyline - showing new sides of House as he struggles with emotions he has kep locked away for a long time. The rest of the team deals with equally strong emotions as Cameron struggles with death and loss while Chase makes a costly mistake that forces House to make a difficult choice. Foreman concludes the show battling a powerful foe and coming to grips with his family problems while making a cruel, selfish choice for his own gain. Cuddy's search for a sperm donor becomes more evident, forcing House to criticize her. Wilson's marital problems bubble over once more and this time he moves in with House forcing their relationship to move to a different level of life advice and force choice. As usual, House takes each new change in stride - or rather he nurses a strong opinion for a long amount of time while keeping it to himself until he unleashes it in an argument-induced rage.



Critique:

Hugh Laurie continues his tour de force as Dr. House and his brillance and contribution to this role knows no bounds. He is simply amazing. The supporting characters each get their own chance to sign in this series as they begin to get fleshed out a little more. Chase is given more humanity and more general depth, Cameron's softness and care is explained, and Foreman's lack of attachment and parallels to House are continued. Cuddy's attempts at happiness continue to show her motherly instincts and Wilson's new changes show his weaknesses that strengthen his character. Stacey's character however seems to follow an unlikely and unpredictable path, and how she makes her choices is left somewhat in the air. Her story is the main weekpoint in the progression of the characters in House. The writing and directio continues to be solid, and the sparse and far between "connection" of episodes with Stacy's storyline helps bind the episodes for awhile, but does not last long. When that happens, the show devolves into little vignettes until, when the last three episodes comes along, returning abruptly to a three part episode. These episodes show how great the show could be if it chose a different course - a course of conjoined episodes that build on each other.

Verdict:

Must see television week after week

If you liked this show, watch...
...Nip/Tuck
...Bones
...Scrubs

Does fundamentalism foster homosexuality?

For some reason, fundamentalism has been on my mind recently, after the passing of the Reverend Jerry Falwell. And I was also recently having a conversation about the societal assumption, and near obsession with dividing the sexes - summer camp, dormitories, etcetera. This division continues, and quite reasonably becomes more vigilant, as we grow older.

Now, in certain institutions and among people with certain beliefs, this ritual gender division is more rigidly adhered too. Fundamentalism is a perfect case in point - sitting seperately in church or requiring chaperones in mixed-gender company.



A perfect example is Falwell's Liberty university where males cannot be in female dorms for any reason. Cutting through all the BS - the reason is obviously to prevent the kids from having sex. Now, even in a place like Liberty where they try to fanatically stamp out homosexuality, they assume that children will only desire heterosexual sex. So there is essentially a type of sex that these systemic gender rules will not prevent.

Furthermore, it seems to me that such radically fundamentalist type rules foster same sex relationships. Think about it - tensions are getting high, kids are maturing and forming opinions, their sex drive is running into a brick wall, they want release - and the only avenues for them to pursue or those in their own dorm.

Just think about it.

Kobe - flip flopping

After making some pretty strong demands and using some pretty strong language - the best player on the court has taken back his demands. Or at least, Kobe tried to take a step back.



He backtracked after a talk with Phil Jackson. And then the Lakers management said they would make a move. What do they have though? It seems like most of their projects have either failed (Smush Parker), are failing (Kwame Brown), or are ones that the Lakers value too highly to abandon (Andrew Bynum). While some projects have kind of worked (Luke Walton) and some are doing pretty well (Lamar Odom), having two pieces to work with, or to push a deal over the top, that's not a lot to work with. Who are they going to sign that is a high impact player? What Kobe needs is a legitimate scoring foward and a point guard that can do more than play defense.

Maybe Kobe just woke up and realized the two years left on his contract and his costly no trade clause combined with the fact that it is impossible to truly get value for the best player in the game.

Either way, Kobe's image has completely collapsed - he looks like the prima donna superstar (that he probably is), which saddens me, because he's probably my favorite player to watch.

Kerr's blogging days are over

An unconfirmed, but very believable report has Steve Kerr taking the job of president/GM of the Phoenix Suns.



I always loved Kerr when he was on the Bulls - he seemed like such a class act, that was so confident, yet humble in his abilities and his role on a team that included Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. Even as a player, you could see his intelligence shine through his play. And for a short time, when he was an announcer, he provided some pretty good insight.

As a writer for yahoo, I loved Kerr's articles. He frequently did lists of teams and ran down everything form their chances at the playoffs, their power ranking, what they needed to do to improve...his blog articles were good too - very detailed and perhaps I liked the articles so much because I so often agreed with them.